Christmas Jokes 2023: 100 Christmas Jokes That Are Truly Hilarious!

Gathering around the fireplace, baking cookies for Santa, and decorating your tree with twinkling lights are just a few reasons to be thankful that Christmastime is here. However, if you happen to be traveling from out of town to visit your in-laws or are planning to gather at Grandma’s house to exchange gifts on Christmas Day, then you’ll agree that the true joys of the season revolve around family. And while you’re all together in one place, creating new memories, it’s the perfect time to share some silly and amusing Christmas jokes to keep everyone in a festive mood Christmas Jokes 2023.

Punny Christmas Jokes

  • What is green, covered in Christmas lights and Christmas bulbs, and goes ribbit? A mistle-toad.
  • How do sheep say Merry Christmas to each other? Fleece Navidad.
  • What is every parent’s favorite Christmas song? Silent Night!
  • Why did Rudolph have to attend summer school? Because he went down in history.
  • How did Joseph and Mary weigh baby Jesus at birth? They had a weigh in the manger.
  • Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him!
  • What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
  • Why did the scarecrow get a big Christmas bonus? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? “I’ll never part with it!”
  • What is a vegan’s favorite Christmas carol? Soy to the World.
  • Elves use what kind of money? Jingle bills.
  • What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!
  • What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
  • What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there’s myrrh.
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
  • What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
  • What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
  • What do snowmen eat for dessert? Ice crispies.
  • How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.
  • What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s workshop? A rebel without a Claus!
  • What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo!
  • What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
  • Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of elf-confidence.
  • Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much? She sleighs.
  • What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
  • What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.
  • What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station.
  • What is Santa’s dog’s name? Santa Paws!
  • Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!
  • What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
  • What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can’t beat it!
  • What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
  • What do Santa’s elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
  • What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
  • What do grapes sing at Christmas? ‘Tis the season to be jelly Christmas Jokes 2023.
  • What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
  • What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
  • Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.

Santa Claus Jokes

  • Where do Santa’s elves go swimming? The North pool.
  • What kind of motorcycle does Santa drive? A Holly Davidson!
  • Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can “ho ho ho”!
  • What did the soccer announcer who made the naughty list get from Santa Claus? COOOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL!
  • What did the English teacher call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
  • Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.
  • How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance? “Present!”
  • What’s red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz!
  • How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm? His sleigh is flown by raindeer.
  • What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!
  • What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.
  • Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
  • What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.
  • How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.
  • How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.
  • What was Santa’s favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!
  • How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
  • What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less Christmas Jokes 2023.
  • What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backward!
  • What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
  • Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
  • What’s Santa’s favorite fruit? (Sugar)plums.
  • Who’s Santa’s favorite singer? Elfish Presley Christmas Jokes 2023.

Christmas Tree Jokes

  • Which former president planted the most Christmas trees? Wood-row Wilson
  • What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties? Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow…
  • What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather? Its shadow.
  • What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed? It started his own branch.
  • How do Christmas trees get their email? They log-on.
  • Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal!
  • What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm? May the forest be with you!
  • How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty!
  • How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up!
  • What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape? A treeangle!
  • What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints!
  • Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present’s beneath them.
  • What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping!
  • Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They have too many needles.
  • Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen.
  • What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!
  • What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad? A pineapple!
  • What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!
  • What month does a Christmas tree hate the most? Sep-timber!

Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes

  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey know how long it is until Santa gets here?
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wayne. Wayne who? Wayne in a manger…
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke?
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Chris. Chris who? Christmas is here!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive Christmastime, don’t you?
  • Knock, knock Who’s there? Honda. Honda who? Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly…
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Santa. Santa who? Santa Christmas card to you, did you get it?
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Elf. Elf who? Elf me wrap this present for Santa!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Interrupting Santa. Inter– Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anna. Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow time to waste. It’s almost Christmas!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me if you hear Santa coming.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open til Christmas!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for Christmas cookies!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Christmas!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ho Ho. Ho Ho who? Your Santa impression needs a little work!

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